Communicate with your children, I don’t mean wait until they are twelve or thirteen years old to start having conversations with them. Communication starts early & children will appreciate this. My oldest is going on sixteen and I have always been open with him on various subjects.
When he was six or seven years old he asked me how babies we’re made. I told him the basic facts of sex. Nothing extreme and I didn’t mention that some people have sex simply for pleasure. I told him the cold hard biological facts. This was fine, it quashed his curiosity for a few more years and answered his question. It also let him know that He could talk to me about anything.
Fast forward a few years to when he’s fourteen years old. At fourteen my son was(and still is) very much into girls. But I knew their we’re things about sex he didn’t understand. I remember all too well what it was like at fourteen, all your friends are talking about it, and some of them are even doing it. I as parent who wants her child to be aware, decided it was time to have a talk again.
I sat down with him and we discussed things such as the consequences of having a sexual relationship, the good the bad and the ugly. Everything was laid out on the table from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy to oral sex and masturbation.
Some parent’s might ask “But how can you have such a conversation with your child” and the answer is simple. Because if I don’t then who will? Where will this information come from? Will it be from an informed party or just from some late night TV. Show? Maybe the information will come from some other fourteen year old who thinks he’s worldly, in any case this is not where I want my child to learn of these things.
Communicate, and I’m not just referring to the important things, talk about the little things as well. Because if your kids realize you have an ear for all things then they will be far more likely to come to you about the big things.
I have also discussed drugs with my Son. I was not the most well behaved teen growing up and I personally have experimented with a few drugs in my life. I have smoked marijuana, tried acid once, tried cocaine once and even tried speed. I have been open with my son and told him these things. When the time is right I will discuss it with my daughters as well. I told him what I thought of drugs why I would never stick a needle in my body unless it was ordered by a doctor. I told my son if he ever wanted to try marijuana to come and talk to me first. Of course we also discussed other drugs, huffing, and such. I don’t know if he will come to me if or when he chooses to try these things, but the point is that the floor is open. He’s been made aware that he has somebody to turn to, and all because I decided to be honest with him
Be honest with you children. You may think your helping your child by not being completely honest, but the fact is your honesty let’s them know that your human too, and not perferct.
It’s okay to be their friend sometimes. Notice I said sometimes, it’s up to you as parent where to draw the line, and children need these boundaries. The need to know what their role in the parent/child relationship is. With teens this can be difficult especially in the communication department. One of the best decisions you can make is to NOT FREAK OUT, no matter what they tell you. Your teen won’t want to talk to you if every time they tell you something you freak out and start immediately yelling at them. Hear what they have to say and their reasons behind it then discuss the best way to handle the situation.
Discipline, most people make the mistake of not starting discipline young. My children were in walkers and I had plenty of knick-knacks about on my coffee and end tables, I never put these things away, I left them right where I wanted them. My philosophy was simple, how could I expect to take my children to other peoples homes and behave when while at home I didn’t already set these boundaries.
My children attempted to grab them & play with, to which I smacked their little hands. Nothing brutal just a little tap to let them know that the item was off limits. My second child was particularly stubborn and it took a few times before she realized what not to touch but even at 8 months old she learned not to touch the items on the tables.
With my children when they we’re young I also faced the issue most parents face at least once or twice at the meal table. Especially with my middle child. They did not want what I had served. My oldest daughter was and is very picky and at two years old the only thing she ever wanted to easy was chicken mcnuggets and french fries. I was persistent, and all three of my children have heard me say, “This is not a restaurant, you’ll eat what I made or you’ll go hungry”. My oldest decided that she wasn’t going to eat one night. Of course this only lasted for dinner one night and she was very happy to eat the breakfast I made the next day.
Stand by your decisions, don’t waiver. If you told your son or daughter that they couldn’t go to the mall if they didn’t get their chores done, then stick with that. My own mother could easily be convinced to waiver and this made it difficult for her to discipline, myself and my siblings.
